Bloody Little Problem
by MJshunpike
Summary: Dangerous assumptions are made when Remus tells Lily about his little problem. One shot.


Disclaimer: No, no, I don't own Harry Potter. Too bad.

* * *

Lily was shoving her way through a thick crowd in Hogsmeade. Earlier that day, Remus had passed her a note during Transfiguration that told her to meet him at The Three Broomsticks that night. Of course, Friday nights make The Three Broomstick impossibly crowded, so she wondered how in Merlin's name she was going to find _Remus_, let alone a chair and table. 

To her surprise, the moment she walked into the bustling building a voice called her name. She quickly spotted a small table in a corner of the room where a light-haired, weary-looking young man was seated with two butterbeers already served. She sat down opposite Remus and sipped from her hot mug.

"Lily," he stated importantly, "there's something I need to tell you."

"Go on," she said, wiping butterbeer foam from her lips.

"You must understand, though, this is very hard for me to say."

"Okay…" Lily darted her eyes uncertainly.

"You see, it's quite – embarrassing – for me, so forgive me for… taking my time."

"No problem," she said as she focused intently on Remus' eyes.

"What I'm trying to tell you is – what I mean to say is – I'm not sure how to – well, you see – "

Lily couldn't help averting her gaze when she could see, over Remus' shoulder, a very large witch trying to fit herself into a seat that was much too small for her. The woman complained loudly as she struggled with her balance. Lily rested her jaw in her palm and was beginning to drum her fingers on the table when she noticed a defined silence. She quickly sat up straight and looked at Remus, turning a bit pink in the cheeks.

"Lily?" asked Remus.

"I'm sorry, Remus, go on," she pleaded.

"Never mind," he said as he got up from his chair. "I'll see you later."

Lily bit her lip. What was the matter with her? Could she not pay attention for five minutes while one of her best friends strained to tell her something that he obviously didn't feel comfortable saying? She was such a bad friend.

"No, Remus. Come, sit down. Tell me. I'll listen, I promise."

The young man sighed and slumped back onto his seat with a thump.

"Well, you see, Lily, something – "

He sighed again and dropped his gaze to stare at his hands resting on the table. Seconds passed. Lily restrained herself from shaking him violently and shouting, "JUST TELL ME, ALREADY!" More silence. Remus didn't lift his head when he continued speaking.

"I've been meaning to tell you, but I've never gotten the courage to do it – "

Lily's ears perked up. This sentence sounded very familiar. Where had she heard it? Ah, yes. She'd heard it about a dozen times in various romantic comedy novels. The female protagonist's love interest would say something like that whenever they were about to –

_Hold on!_ What was Remus trying to say? Was he thinking the same thing as Mr. Perfect in all those romantic comedies she had read? Was he about to tell Lily he loved her?

Lily took a deep breath. In. Out. In. Out. Just relax, you have no idea what he's thinking. He might as well be asking me for help on his Charms theory homework. Yeah, right.

So what did this mean? Had he always liked her? Lily had been friends with Remus since third year, when they were partnered up for a project. She always liked his personality, and thought that he was the most well-mannered out of all the Marauders, but she would never have thought – Remus Lupin, asking her out on a date! What would James say?

To hell with James. If Remus loved her, she would say yes. Now that she thought about it, Lily had always kind of liked Remus, too. She loved his modest attitude; how he always cared about other people and wasn't starving for attention. He was a model student, too – studious, smart, involved, helpful. He was everything she ever wanted in a man.

Lily noticed that Remus was preparing to open his mouth and speak purposefully again. She cleared her mind and waited to hear the three small words…

"Lily, something happens to me regularly that's quite unnatural."

… Or not. Okay, maybe he's about to tell her that he gets butterflies in his stomach when he's around her. _Then_ he'll ask her out. Yes, that's it.

"It makes me… dangerous, you could say. Unsafe."

So, maybe it's not butterflies. And maybe Remus didn't have the best tact in asking girls out. But aside from the possibility that Remus might be confessing his undying love for her, Lily was reminded of something, but she didn't know what.

Remus looked at her expectantly, as if she ought to know what he was trying to tell her. All she could do was raise an eyebrow. Remus sighed disappointedly and continued.

"When this happens, I don't – I don't really act myself. I do things I wouldn't otherwise do."

Lily's aura of recognition enhanced. When had this happened before? Did this happen to her? Then something clicked in her mind as Remus continued to explain.

"And that's why I go away every month, see? I – "

"NO WAY!" shouted Lily, not noticing the stares she received. She couldn't believe it. Remus, of all people!

Remus looked down and massaged his temples. At last, he had finally made her understand. Now was the hard part – facing her reaction. With reluctance, he glanced up and saw Lily, open-mouthed and eyes popping. Great.

"I can't believe it," she said. "I am honestly truly astonished."

Remus remained silent. He was waiting for the shock to die down so that he could face her dread and loathing at having a werewolf as a friend. But the shock didn't seem to die down.

"I heard rumours, of course, but I didn't think – "

Lily took another breath then continued.

"I mean, I've had experience of course. I just can't believe I didn't realize before now – "

Remus wondered what kind of experience she had had with werewolves. This comforted him. Perhaps she wouldn't reject him. Maybe she would still want to be friends.

"I honestly never thought that it actually happened to boys."

Remus raised an eyebrow, then said:

"Do you know very many females ones, then?"

Lily's jaw dropped. He didn't know? She wondered how to answer him.

"I don't know any female who doesn't!"

Now Remus' jaw dropped. All girls are werewolves? Impossible.

"Are you joking?" he asked sceptically.

"No, are you?"

Remus shook his head earnestly. What was going on?

"Hold on," said Lily defiantly. "You have a sister, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"How old is she?"

"Fifteen."

"Then she's old enough."

"Old enough for what?"

"But Remus, you must know!"

"Know _what?_"

"That we, " Lily dropped her voice to a whisper, "that girls menstruate!"

"_What?_"

"Are you serious?" Lily asked. "You honestly didn't know?"

"No, I knew before."

"Knew what?"

"That girls menstruate."

"Oh. Then what are you – ?"

"No," Remus interrupted. "What are _you_ talking about?"

"Weren't you – ? Weren't you just saying that you PMS every month?"

-

"WHAT!"

"What?"

"Lily, if you repeat that ever again I will personally send James upon you."

Lily chose to ignore that last comment since she was so occupied with another question on her mind.

"Then, Remus – what _do_ you do every month?"

"Lily, I'm a werewolf."

"NO WAY!"


End file.
